May 4, 2012

The revers/battle of the sexes

In my beautiful country where so many things are right, there are a few things that are so wrong.

This post is based on personal experience and tales from friends of both genders.

Let this tune set the mood for this post...

We live in a most peculiar time.
The "Sex&theCity"-generation has imprinted on us.
First of all evolution has caught up with the battle of the sexes. Well on many levels at least... 
I am lucky, I grew up in a country and a time where we have equal rights. 
The female sex is no longer confined to cooking & house keeping. We have taken the stage alongside the men both in business and other male dominated areas and we are thriving in the spot light. 
We are so lucky to live in a time and place where this is accepted AND respected!

But somewhere in this battle something happened... 
Mothers, sisters, daughters has fought in generations before us for equal rights, burning their bra's in protest.
We became though! We became fighters! We grew cohones! 
But what happened to the men?
What happened to them in the process? 
Well, personally I think we now see side effects that we were not prepared for... 

Equality killed chivalry!

In Norway, you should never be surprised if a woman opens the door for a man, pays the bill at the restaurant or shifts tires on her own car.
This is good, because we are independent.
But do we realise the consequence of this?

When I travel I am always reminded of what once was:
Gentlemen that opens your door and fills your glass when half empty. 
They pul out the chair and they offer their jacket if you need warmth.
The small things like take your hand when crossing the street, follow you to your door without any expectations of an invitation into your home.

This is not because they owe you anything, but simply because a lady should be treated thereafter. 
The man wants to protect and take care of her, because this is normal. This is basic instinct. 
The bigger takes care of the smaller. 
Also he will "collect" later in life when she is washing his clothes and taking care of the children.
It all balances out in the end (I think...).

This might be a bold statement but chivalry in my city is dead it seems. 
Or maybe it´s just hiding from me - who knows!
I am not saying that I don´t see glimpses of it from time to time, but hey, it should be the other way around! 
The absence of gentlemen should be close to nothing and if you ever found a man that did not have a gentleman inside he should be considered a curiosity.
At the same time I see fellow sisters going completely loco after men. 
The rules of formal dating and courting has gone completely extinct.
The fact that I already used the word "courting" might have given away that I am of the old school type.
A lady should be wooed and courted according to the seriousness of the male interest. This is how they did it in the "good old days". I realise that in the good old days they also had loveless marriage and marriage out of practicality (I believe this never stopped), but are we not more evolved now? Are we not wiser and more informed?

The point I want to highlight in this post is actually only one thing:
When did men become women and women become men?
When did the battle cross over to reverse?

I have seen girls who are ruthless in their hunt for men and I have seen boys who cling to the wall in fear of approaching a woman. 
It seems the table has turned and evolution caught up with us alas. 

Is it now, time to take it back?
Should we consider finding a balance?
Or maybe just follow instinct as it has become?

Maybe the men should do what men do instinctively:HUNT. 
Maybe women should let men approach before we eat them alive. 

I know men think that ladies are complicated and I would more often than not agree (also considering myself in the matter) but really it is so simple:
A lady, in any shape, size or age wants to be wooed.
She will not admit it, and also maybe even say that you are wasting your money, but at heart she wants flowers.
She wants compliments.
She wants romance and security.
And she wants it now!

Ladies I know that men has entered the kitchen on a daily basis with maybe better skills than us at times, but make him his favourite dinner and invite his boys over for a poker game (leave the house so they can do whatever guys do on a guys night (really what is it you do?)).
Let him watch the soccer game because you know he loves it!

In stead of competing we must join forces and wish each other more and better. 
We must fight the urge to try changing each other and meet in accept.
We must focus on communication and trust, and regain the RESPECT which, too me, seem lost at times.
I am not saying that we should go back to what once was: housewives only.
But let´s have our cake and eat it to!
Let us be equal in most aspects, but take back the story about the huntsman and his prey.

I wish you all a great weekend...
Romantic at heart<3

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